Warrior

First thought that comes to mind is a Samurai. A person that fought heart and soul knowing the chances of the outcome of them not returning to their family. But being damn proud of knowing that they received such a title.

For me though personally I kinda cringe at the word. Mainly because it then makes me feel shameful. It's just another aspect of my life that I seem to fail at.

I'm not really sure where life took it's turn, but at this point I feel really weak. And to see the word warrior, I would love to be that type of person that is strong and will fight for what is needed for myself. Just I'm not ..

I guess I don't like the word because I envy it too much when I see others. The ones that are fighting and well .. maybe doing good maybe having bad spots but they are still up a lot higher then I am. And here I'm just going thru the motions.

Sometimes I look back on my life and feel like I fought harder then then what I am capable of now. That when I did things I tried a lot more and now I don't have that urge to give it my all.

That's probably why I don't really care for the word warrior.